Random Naruto Stories
by HomunculusGreedLing
Summary: Just some random stories. Chapter two is up.
1. Sasuke vs Itachi

These are just some stories and (mainly) drabbles I wrote.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but neither do you guys. _Insert maniacal laugh here_. (Yup, I'm crazy.)

**Naruto quote of the chapter:** "Foolish brother. If you want to kill me… curse me, hate me, and live a long an unsightly life, run away… run away… and cling to your pitiful life. And someday, when you have the same 'eyes' as me. Come before me."- Uchiha Itachi.

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**_Random Naruto Stories and Drabbles_**

**By: HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 1: Sasuke vs. Itachi**

Itachi sat with his back against the tree, when a figure jumped in front of him.

"Brother, today you die," cried Sasuke.

"You think you're strong enough?" said Itachi lazily.

"I don't care if there's an army with you, I will kill you," said Sasuke.

Itachi sighed, and then whistled. A girl appeared at his side, then another, then another, until they were about a hundred. All of them were foaming at the mouth.

"Who are they?" asked Sasuke.

"They're your fan-girls," said Itachi calmly.

Sasuke's eyes bulged out. He turned around to run, but he was surrounded.

The hundred or so rabid fan-girls jumped onto Sasuke, who screamed like a girl and fainted.

Sasuke woke up to find himself tied to a tree stump. Itachi and the other Akatsuki members stood in front of him.

"Go on Itachi, tell us more," said Kisame (The fish-man/shark-man/man-fish/mutated-fish?)

"Well, he used to sleep with an old stuffed rabbit plushy… I think he called it Sakura, yup, he called it sakura ever since his first day in ninja school," said Itachi, smiling.

Just then, Itachi remembered something and his smile got wider, "And, he used to wear diapers until he was ten."

Akatsuki burst into laughter.

Sasuke woke up, flustered and sweating.

'_Just a bad dream,_' he thought, '_but I still need more power…_'

Sasuke then hugged Sakura the rabbit plushy and went to sleep.

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Hope you liked that, please review.

Oh yeah, I want you guys opinion on a question, "What exactly is Kisame?"


	2. Sakura X Sasuke?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Yup, that's it, that's the disclaimer…What? You were expecting something witty?

**Naruto quote of the chapter: **"…of course, those in the ninja world who break rules and regulations are called trash… but… those who don't care about their companions are… even worse trash." – Uchiha Obito.

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**_Random Naruto Stories_**

**By: HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 2: Sakura X Sasuke? **

Sakura collapsed onto her bed.

--- Five minutes earlier------

"Oh Sasuke!"

--- Ten minutes earlier------

Sakura opened her door to find Sasuke there.

"Sasuke, what are you doing here?" asked Sakura.

"This," Sasuke bent forward and kissed her.

You know the rest.

--- The next day----------

Sakura approached Sasuke and Naruto on the bridge.

"Oh Sasuke, thanks for the great time last night," said Sakura.

Both Sasuke and Naruto's mouths fell open.

"Umm… Sakura, what do you mean last night?" asked Sasuke.

"What? Why are you trying to deny it, you're the one who came to me and said you wanted to revive your clan," said Sakura.

"I… I did?" sputtered Sasuke.

"Yes, you did, why are you phrasing it like a question?" replied Sakura. Now puzzled.

"But Sakura, I didn't come to your house yesterday," said Sasuke.

"What! But you were there, we even had…" realization dawned upon Sakura. She jumped back.

"But, but… if it wasn't you then… then …" Sakura fainted.

"Umm… Sasuke, should we do anything?" asked Naruto.

"Just walk away Naruto, we saw nothing," said Sasuke calmly.

Sasuke and Naruto started to walk away.

"So Sasuke, did you…" Naruto began. Sasuke sweat-dropped.

"No way man!" cried Sasuke.

That was good enough for Naruto, and they both walked away from the bridge as fast as they could.

-------- In Tsunade's Office------------

"Someone WHAT!" cried Tsunade, "You're telling me that someone disguised as Sasuke came to your house and…"

"Yes," said Sakura quietly.

"So, do you know who it was?" asked Tsunade.

"No, but I'm going to find out," said Sakura.

"Fine, come with me, I know someone who can help," Tsunade grabbed Sakura and dragged her out of her office.

------ At the marketplace------------

Sakura sat in front of the fortune-teller, feeling quite apprehensive.

"I'm looking for…" Sakura began.

"The person who disguised himself as Sasuke, came to your house at night, kissed you and then…" the woman began.

"Do you know where that pervert is?" asked Sakura.

"Behind that door," pointed the woman.

Sakura ripped the door off its hinges. A man emerged from inside.

"Kukuku, so you finally found me," said the man. Sakura and Tsunade's jaws dropped open.

"Orochimaru! You came to my house as Sasuke?" cried Sakura.

"No," replied Orochimaru.

"Then why did you say 'you finally found me'?" asked Tsunade.

"I thought it was Kabuto. I ran off with his cookies," explained Orochimaru.

"Umm… I meant that door," the woman pointed to the door to the right.

Sakura ripped the other door off its hinges.

"Kakashi-sensei!" cried Sakura.

"Oops, guess you caught me," said Kakashi, and then ran away as fast as he could, with Sakura chasing him.

"So, you think she's…" asked Orochimaru.

"I have no idea…" replied Tsunade, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh no reason," Orochimaru walked away.

'_I hope she is,_' thought Orochimaru as he walked away, '_that baby shall seek me, it shall seek me for power, power and kabuto's cookies… _'

A woman ran toward the fortuneteller.

"Someone's been peeping at me in the shower, do you know who it is?" she asked.

"Jiraiya," said everyone at the same time. (It doesn't need a psychic to answer that question.)

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Please Review.


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